so, micah has weaned...
...and it feels just right. we were both ready, he only needed a tiny nudge from me, and while it feels a teensy bit bitter-sweet, it's a whole lot less so than i expected it to be!
i've been ready for this for most of the fall, but i just wasn't sure whether micah was or not. i had this thought that he really needed to wean -- that our nursing relationship was no longer the beautiful, healthy, nurturning thing it had been for so long, but rather was holding him back in some way. i can't quite put my finger on it, but he seems clearly ready to be moving to a new place (there's been a lot of that totally age-appropriate separating-from-mom stuff that he's doing which is driving me kinda crazy because it's a lot of one step forward two steps back, and the two steps back involve a lot of clinginess on the one hand and lashing out/limit-testing on the other. that, and a lot of night waking. sigh.) my intuition was telling me that our nursing relationship was holding him back in some way. but i wasnt' sure. what if our nursing relationship was actually the thing that was helping him through? what if he really needed his nursies to get through this feeling nurtured and secure?
i had decided i would push a tiny bit over our vacation, and see how it went, but in the end i didn't need to. with all the excitement of christmas -- multiple church services, parties, presents, visiting relatives -- he totally forgot to even ask on christmas eve and christmas day. then we flew to arizona, drove to the desert, and set up camp -- and again, he never asked. on the fifth day, when we went to the library to escape the rain -- he asked once, but i easily put him off. he asked a couple of times when we were backpacking in the desert and he was a little miserable, but again, he was pretty easily put off.
when we returned home, he started asking with a bit more frequency, but it was never very hard to say no, and so i decided we were definitely going to be done. i always offer a cuddle instead, and now he only asks maybe once a week if that.
i decided that if he forgot to ask when things were stressful/exciting/new, and only started asking again when we landed back into our routine ... well then, it seemed to me that this was much more of a habit and less of a coping mechanism. and so there you have it -- we're done!
micah was 15 days when he started nursing, and 3.75 years when he stopped. all together, i was lactating/nursing for 4.25 years. and if i do say so myself, i'm kinda proud of that fact!
Labels: breastfeeding
posted by mamamarta @ 2:24 PM
10 comments
10 Comments:
You should be proud! When Noah weaned I was relieved (the last six months really tested my patience -- he was an intense nurser for the first 3.5 years of his life -- every two hours 'til then and then nursed a few months past four) but also sad. Very very bittersweet!
You should indeed feel extremely proud of you and Micah! I weaned Kelvin the month after he turned four (last April) -- he only nursed in the morning, though, and I was getting impatient with that. One morning I just said no. He asked a couple of times, but then it was over...
I had NO IDEA that Noah had nursed every two hours until he was 3.5!! That definitely sounds pretty unbearable to me! (I did know that he had nursed for a long time -- I'm glad Dawn commented :)
and proud you should be! You're right - with Toby, it was a bit bittersweet, but it was the right time and we were both ready. He stopped a few months before his fourth birthday too :)
It sounds like it went smoothly. And you will always have those nice memories of the nursing days.
Congratulations, my dear! Your nursing story is probably the most wonderful and amazing one I know, and I'm so proud of you and everything you did.
Hooray for you and Micah on this big transition. Henry went through a similar thing where he still wanted to but clearly needed to move on. I'm glad the end went so smoothly for you two--well-deserved.
Well, that's a transition to celebrate for both of you! May you have much joy in the next phase of your relationship, too.
Any nursing done past 1 year is for the mother, not the child. I think it's insane that someone would nurse a 4 year old. That child is going to have problems.
I came across your blog, as I was looking at ways to become a lactation consultant..(due to my wonderful breastfeeding experience) What a wonderful story you must have, I plan to read your blog...I am truely inspired! Jen
Bittersweet is certainly the word. I'm another one of those crazy moms who nursed past a year. My older child self-weaned a few weeks after his third birthday. My daughter will be three next month and still nurses 0-2 times a day. It's definitely winding down. She just went 48 hours without nursing this past week, though she nursed again the next day. I am more glad than sad it's almost over but it's a mix of emotions for sure.
p.s. I don't know if it's his real name or a psuedonym, but I love the name Micah. It was on my list for a second boy, but we had a girl instead.
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